The Refelection

"Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside."
Reflection by Christina Aguilera

A great song from the Disney movie Mulan. In this song Mulan is singing about how when she looks in the mirror she doesn't see herself, she sees herself playing a part she wasn't meant to. The song poped in my head yesterday at work, everytime this happens I look in the mirror as soon as I can. The song hasn't poped in my head in forever so I wondered what I would see. I went to the bathroom and took a few seconds to look at myself.

My smile... was real. The happiness in my eyes... was real. I wasn't wearing make up, because frankly I hate it. I didn't try to do up my hair that day, I like it when it lays down. I was covered in my pentacles and my stones. For the first time ever, when I looked in the mirror I saw me. Although not phsyically seen in the mirror... I saw my attitude, my beliefs, my feelings, and all the things that make up me. It was all real. Between being with my husband, all the encouragment my friends give me, going to the Pagan Festival Heartland, and living my life day to day as I wish, I have become me. Regardless of my family, certain friends, and society being against me, I am me.

I don't know if I should be sad or happy that it took almost 21 years to no longer wear the mask. Because how many people who are 50 look in the mirror and can say that what they see is real? It's just so sad that so many people wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and put on the face for the day. It's sad that so many people hide who they are under the facade that others call their personality. It took me 21 years. How long has it taken other people to slowly turn the mask into a reality? How long before the smile is real? How long does it take for a person to display themselves naked, full on, to the world?

Too long. So I encourage you to get up from your computer and go to a mirror. Look at the reflection that you see. Is it real? Or a mask? How many bits and pieces of your personality are in that dusty shoe box in the attic of your mind? Think of what you have to do to make that reflection be you... then go outside, and do it.

Note: This is not today's post, forgot to post last night, will probably have another post later.